I've been very slow to respond to the topical treatments and the antibiotics I've been taking for a tooth infection... I could eventually lose the tooth if nothing starts working for me. It happens to be the same tooth Amy is missing. It will really really really really really really really really suck to look like her of course, but what will make it even worse, is that I'll be stone cold sober while doing so - I won't have a crack pipe and millions of dollars in the bank to comfort me. Does it make me a bad person to consider taking up a crack habit if I lose the tooth... just temporarily, until I can get an implant?
Gratitude in retrospect ('retro' is so in these days) is something I've been pondering as of late. It's a concept and practice I believe in as a means of not descending into useless thoughts of self-pity when unexpected hardships or physical pain arise. And nothing brings on the retrospective gratitude in me like a bad a** tooth ache!
Retrospective gratitude is not filled with the guilt and regret you feel when you realize you've taken someone or something for granted, and then your gratitude is too little too late. No, it's simply looking back fondly and with genuine gratitude on times that were better, times that were blessed, and without asking for anything in return. For instance, if I'm sad, if I feel like there's a hole in my heart that won't ever heal, I might say a prayer like, "Heavenly Father, I'm so thankful for all the moments in my life that I felt happy and care free. I'm grateful for all the times I smiled and laughed freely without sadness waiting to occupy my next thought". Or, if I have a toothache, I might say a little prayer in my mind like, "Heavenly Father, I'm so grateful for all the moments my tooth didn't hurt. For all the times I was completely unaware that I even had any teeth at all, for all the times I could carry on a conversation without being present yet absent - only thinking about the pain and not caring what I'm talking about," etc., etc..
Those are the kinds of things I think about, pray about, when I'm engaging in retrospective gratitude. And so I'm applying this method of being grateful, in advance even, to my Amy Winehouse situation. I say (to myself) and pray things like, "Heavenly Father, I'm so very very grateful for all the moments of my life when I didn't look like Amy Winehouse. I'm so grateful for all the times I smiled without wanting to be stoned out of my mind, or for wanting everyone seeing me smile to be stoned out of their minds too so they won't notice my missing tooth. I'm so grateful for all the times I smiled without having to concentrate on keeping my lips sealed, and for not even being conscious of having teeth, the way I don't notice I'm breathing."
I think these thoughts and prayers will help since I won't be stoned during the experience, if and when it happens. And it's not to say that it definitely will. I'm an optimistic realist after all. I'm optimistic that my tooth will win the war even though it's lost a few battles - but I also realize that it might not - so I'm trying to be prepared...
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Gratitude in Retrospect
Over the last few days, I've been mentally and emotionally preparing for the possibility that I might look like Amy Winehouse soon.
I've been very slow to respond to the topical treatments and the antibiotics I've been taking for a tooth infection... I could eventually lose the tooth if nothing starts working for me. It happens to be the same tooth Amy is missing. It will really really really really really really really really suck to look like her of course, but what will make it even worse, is that I'll be stone cold sober while doing so - I won't have a crack pipe and millions of dollars in the bank to comfort me. Does it make me a bad person to consider taking up a crack habit if I lose the tooth... just temporarily, until I can get an implant?
Gratitude in retrospect ('retro' is so in these days) is something I've been pondering as of late. It's a concept and practice I believe in as a means of not descending into useless thoughts of self-pity when unexpected hardships or physical pain arise. And nothing brings on the retrospective gratitude in me like a bad a** tooth ache!
Retrospective gratitude is not filled with the guilt and regret you feel when you realize you've taken someone or something for granted, and then your gratitude is too little too late. No, it's simply looking back fondly and with genuine gratitude on times that were better, times that were blessed, and without asking for anything in return. For instance, if I'm sad, if I feel like there's a hole in my heart that won't ever heal, I might say a prayer like, "Heavenly Father, I'm so thankful for all the moments in my life that I felt happy and care free. I'm grateful for all the times I smiled and laughed freely without sadness waiting to occupy my next thought". Or, if I have a toothache, I might say a little prayer in my mind like, "Heavenly Father, I'm so grateful for all the moments my tooth didn't hurt. For all the times I was completely unaware that I even had any teeth at all, for all the times I could carry on a conversation without being present yet absent - only thinking about the pain and not caring what I'm talking about," etc., etc..
Those are the kinds of things I think about, pray about, when I'm engaging in retrospective gratitude. And so I'm applying this method of being grateful, in advance even, to my Amy Winehouse situation. I say (to myself) and pray things like, "Heavenly Father, I'm so very very grateful for all the moments of my life when I didn't look like Amy Winehouse. I'm so grateful for all the times I smiled without wanting to be stoned out of my mind, or for wanting everyone seeing me smile to be stoned out of their minds too so they won't notice my missing tooth. I'm so grateful for all the times I smiled without having to concentrate on keeping my lips sealed, and for not even being conscious of having teeth, the way I don't notice I'm breathing."
I think these thoughts and prayers will help since I won't be stoned during the experience, if and when it happens. And it's not to say that it definitely will. I'm an optimistic realist after all. I'm optimistic that my tooth will win the war even though it's lost a few battles - but I also realize that it might not - so I'm trying to be prepared...
I've been very slow to respond to the topical treatments and the antibiotics I've been taking for a tooth infection... I could eventually lose the tooth if nothing starts working for me. It happens to be the same tooth Amy is missing. It will really really really really really really really really suck to look like her of course, but what will make it even worse, is that I'll be stone cold sober while doing so - I won't have a crack pipe and millions of dollars in the bank to comfort me. Does it make me a bad person to consider taking up a crack habit if I lose the tooth... just temporarily, until I can get an implant?
Gratitude in retrospect ('retro' is so in these days) is something I've been pondering as of late. It's a concept and practice I believe in as a means of not descending into useless thoughts of self-pity when unexpected hardships or physical pain arise. And nothing brings on the retrospective gratitude in me like a bad a** tooth ache!
Retrospective gratitude is not filled with the guilt and regret you feel when you realize you've taken someone or something for granted, and then your gratitude is too little too late. No, it's simply looking back fondly and with genuine gratitude on times that were better, times that were blessed, and without asking for anything in return. For instance, if I'm sad, if I feel like there's a hole in my heart that won't ever heal, I might say a prayer like, "Heavenly Father, I'm so thankful for all the moments in my life that I felt happy and care free. I'm grateful for all the times I smiled and laughed freely without sadness waiting to occupy my next thought". Or, if I have a toothache, I might say a little prayer in my mind like, "Heavenly Father, I'm so grateful for all the moments my tooth didn't hurt. For all the times I was completely unaware that I even had any teeth at all, for all the times I could carry on a conversation without being present yet absent - only thinking about the pain and not caring what I'm talking about," etc., etc..
Those are the kinds of things I think about, pray about, when I'm engaging in retrospective gratitude. And so I'm applying this method of being grateful, in advance even, to my Amy Winehouse situation. I say (to myself) and pray things like, "Heavenly Father, I'm so very very grateful for all the moments of my life when I didn't look like Amy Winehouse. I'm so grateful for all the times I smiled without wanting to be stoned out of my mind, or for wanting everyone seeing me smile to be stoned out of their minds too so they won't notice my missing tooth. I'm so grateful for all the times I smiled without having to concentrate on keeping my lips sealed, and for not even being conscious of having teeth, the way I don't notice I'm breathing."
I think these thoughts and prayers will help since I won't be stoned during the experience, if and when it happens. And it's not to say that it definitely will. I'm an optimistic realist after all. I'm optimistic that my tooth will win the war even though it's lost a few battles - but I also realize that it might not - so I'm trying to be prepared...
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12 comments:
But you will be a coherent Amy Winehouse. She can expect to loose more teeth if she doesn't lay off the crack....I think you should say no to crack. And good luck with that tooth! (Just think, you will be a Shelle Blokthoughts, only hers is on the opposite side!) Alright, hers isn't that big, but in your crack stupor you can pretend it is!
I think you could possibly work the gaping hole and forego the implant. Think of how useful it could be when sipping through a straw. Or smoking crack, whatever floats your boat.
Hey, there are worse things. Like looking like Clay Aiken.
If anyone could pull off looking like AW and not being on crack, it's you! Good luck!
oh man, that stinks but love the thoughts! hang in there, I had a tooth I thought would never heal but it's okay now! If you have to lode it go for an eye patch and the pirate look!:)
Haha, thank you Laura, and everyone! I think I may just rock the AmyWinehouse/pirate/crackhead look really well after all :)
I like that title---gratitude in retrospect. I've been known to do that once in awhile. And sometimes, when I don't want to seem too ungrateful, I maybe get carried away and start being grateful for things like my pillow. But really, I do love my pillow!
Sorry to hear about your tooth ache!! I say, if the crack helps you feel better, you should do it. he he :)
I have done significant research on whether or not medicinal uses of some herbs(pot) are against the word of wisdom.
We should talk!
Ouch times 2! Once for the tooth and once for potentially looking like Winehouse. There are better ways for you to make your million rather than following in the tracks (heehee... drug humor there) of Amy W!
I lub retrospect gratitude.
But it's kinda sad, huh!?
I really hope you don't look like Amy Winehouse!
Rachel,
You are hysterical. I'm sorry about your tooth. Hope it's better now since it's been awhile.
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