So, You Got My Back And Everything, Right?

#26 February 14

Unhappy Valentine

Eva was having a perfectly fabulous Valentine's Day... until the moment the Gutheries brought her home that evening and she made a bee-line for the bathroom and proceeded to puke her guts out. Here she is, exhausted and resting between episodes :( She seems to be all better now though.

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#27 February 15

So, You Got My Back And Everything, Right?

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#28 February 16

SheShe

An outing with Sheila, also affectionately known as SheShe, is never dull... that goes without saying, and happily last night at the movies was no different. Imagine my glee when I noticed she was sporting a Wal-Mart special Rolling Stone Magazine Cover tote bag! If you've followed my 365 project, you'll remember this one

(I'm just a little bit happy to be able to post it again because it's one of my personal faves. I love how Kurt Cobain is trying to pierc my soul with those eyes from a vinyl tote bag on clearance at Wal-Mart)

I was thrilled to see Sheila with the Bono edition. I had my camera with me of course, so we did a little photo shoot right there in the theater before the movie started. Sheila's always more than willing to have her picture taken, for good reason, and she didn't know anything about photos in Cinemark Theaters being STRICTLY VERBOTEN, so she was totally into it. Actually, come to think of it, she might have been even more in to the photo shoot had she known about the photo policy. That could have gotten out of hand :D

Well that was fun enough for me, even if I were to end up not liking the movie, but then as the movie started, I look over at SheShe and she's eating popcorn she brought from home out of a Victoria's Secret gift bag! So there you go... my evening was complete. That was worth the price of admission right there!

Now, I prefer the sepia version of this pic, but I'm also posting the color version to do justice to that grandma afghan popping out of Sheila's vest... it's simply epic. But despite being a grandma afghan, it's still so stylish, so Etsy. That's just how SheShe rolls.

In Another Time

#23 February 11

Eva's Homework

Matt is the go to parent for all math homework and all Barry Bonds biography projects. And he's not flipping me the bird here, he's just pushing up his glasses. I knew you were probably wondering. He saves the flipping me off for more special occasions ;-)

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#24 February 12

Loneliness Is Such A Sad Affair, And I Can Hardly Wait To Be With You Again

That's a line from my favorite Carpenters song, which happened to be my mind when I took this photo.

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#25 February 13

In Another Time

'In Another Time' is currently my favorite song. It happened to be on my mind when I took this one, and both pics are of my early Valentine's bouquet from my Valentine. That boy knows how to score the points!

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Bonus: February 13

Dearest Sweetheart

#20 February 8

Time Pieces

My great grandfather, Ward Monroe Jenkins, Sr., was a watch/clock repairman/maker. These are some of his miscellaneous watch faces and parts. I've been trying to think of interesting things to photograph on days when I might find myself at a loss for inspiration. This is the first time I've tried something like this - a still life with black background, composing a scene, etc.. If I did it again, I would change a couple things about this pic, like the position of the hand on the center watch face for example. But overall, I like how it turned out and I'd like to do some more of this kind of photography.

I was so excited about it in fact, I had a hard time going to sleep that night, even though I didn't get to bed 'til 1 a.m.. Then my mind was racing with all the possibilities of 'heirloom photography'! I was composing still life scenes in my mind of all the family treasures scattered about in various boxes. Where is that one thing of my grandmother's I remember seeing? Is that other thing at my mom's house? Would they look good together with some pictures in the background? Would it be better to do a photo shoot during daylight with the natural light of the sun through the windows, or with the available light of the ceiling lights and desk lamp? Using a flash is out of the question, but which lens would be best?

These are the thoughts that keep me up at night... which makes me a very lucky person at the moment! Other less pleasant thoughts (waaaaaaay less pleasant) have kept me up at other times in my life, and no doubt there will be times in the future when I will have more troubles, stresses or heartache to deal with, so I'd like to take a moment to be grateful for losing sleep over still life compositions... thank you up there!

#21 February 9

Dearest Sweetheart

The next day I decided to arrange some of the letters my grandfather wrote to my grandmother during WWII, before they were married. Who doesn't love air mail envelopes? And stamped with dates of a time long since gone by? And addressed to their grandmother by their grandfather when they were dating and falling in love?Crazy people, that's who.

I also added in my grandmother's war ration stamp booklets. There's a lot of history packed into this one photo, and a lot of sweetness too!

#22 February 9

Timeless Love

I will have to write about this pic tomorrow. It's getting late and there's so much to say about it. The photo on this pocket watch face is my great grandmother.

Small Acts of Rebellion

I feel a great deal of joy when committing small acts of rebellion. Too much joy I'm afraid. I know I shouldn't, but I just do. I can't help myself. For example, if I'm standing in the hallway after Sacrament meeting chatting with friends and someone tells me go to Sunday School (which has happened every week for the last four weeks including today, hee hee hee), I'll definitely be more inclined to not go, even if I already happen to be on my way there, and even if my favorite Sunday School teacher/inspiring person of all time who can bring me to tears is teaching... and then I'll get a certain amount of joy and satisfaction out of governing myself in my own innocuous, but defiant manner :D Although, I have to admit that I did go to SS today after I told about five different people how I don't like being told to go to SS, hahahaha. See, I'm not that bad... just a little hypocritical about standing on my principles and not going to SS when told to ;-) But I'm 41 years old for crying out loud! And if I want to play hooky from SS, I will dammit :)

(And I'll say 'dammit' on my blog if I feel like too, dammit. And maybe even in the hallway when someone tells me to go to SS :))

Oh, if they only knew about the numerous meaningful conversations I've had in those hallways and couches in the foyer. These small acts of rebellion have even been healing to my soul at times if you want to know the truth... so don't freakin' tell me to go to Sunday School peeps! And I mean that in the nicest way possible :)

Love :) Peace out :)

Oh, I almost forgot why I mentioned small acts of rebellion in the first place. The reason why I mention it is because it really ticked me off the other night when I was taking pictures of Ella and her friend Kailee in line at the movie concession stand, and the popcorn girl told me I had to stop.

Apparently, taking pictures of popcorn and your kids at the concession stand is strictly VERBOTEN and aggressively enforced!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So consider yourself warned people.

Well anywho, after paying for our snacks, I had to get off one more shot just to stick to the popcorn girl :) HA! Take that photo NAZI/popcorn chick!

#17 February 5

Photo NAZI/Popcorn Chick

And now I have effectively negated any good example points I gained last week for not trespassing. I WILL repent however... as soon as I hit 'publish post' :)

#18 February 6

Bon Appetit!

I wish this picture could do justice to how delicious this cake was!!!

#19 February 7

Interception

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Bonus: February 6

Redemption

p.s. I'm behind on my pics but will post #13-#16 soon.

p.s.s. Ella, Eva and Sophie have to all be 18 before they can engage in any small acts of rebellion like skipping Sunday School. It's just one of the many perks of being an adult.

Dreams of Trespass

#10 January 29

Can't Think of a Title

This is a group of wild horses on their way back to the hills after having spent the night fouling up the park and residential streets. People 'round these parts really love that about living here - all the early morning horse surprises that is. They just can't get enough of it ;-) I don't mind it though because they haven't hit my street yet and because I get to watch them book it full speed down Rio Wrangler after I've dropped Ella of at seminary.

#11 January 30

Dreams of Trespass

That's the title of a book I read years ago and it popped into my mind when trying to think of a title for this pic. I wanted to trespass bad. Real bad. I wanted to climb the barbed-wire fence I was resting my camera on and go exploring... find out all the secrets of this old red house. But I didn't. My conscious wouldn't allow it. Or, that is to say, Matt was scolding me in my mind. He is my conscious in these matters and highly disapproves of trespassing and other such fun adventures. No. I did not trespass. I kept the law, was a good example and did not satisfy my curiosity.

I would be an ideal law breaker though. I would be the kind of trespasser a property owner would love to have. I would only look. I wouldn't take or break, smash or graffiti anything. They wouldn't even know I had ever been there unless they read my blog and saw the evidence of my violation. No, I would leave no trace. I would only look and imagine what had been... wonder who snuck in and out of that window with the ladder. I would investigate why the ladder has never blown down after so many years of observing it as I pass by on my way to and from my mother's house. What is in that window??? Are there children's toys lying about? Perhaps some creepy dolls to photograph? I would just have a little looksee, that's all. That's all I would do. But I didn't... for the sake of the children, I wasn't a bad example and did not trespass. And I didn't even have them with me, so give me some credit peeps, 'cause it would have been well worth ripping my pants, I can assure it!

#12 January 31

Girl in Pajamas Playing Guitar on a Sunday Evening

The girl in pajamas playing guitar on a Sunday evening gave a really great talk on temples today in Sacrament meeting and made me so proud :)

Timeless

#7 January 26

Just the neon lights of Qdoba Mexican Grill through my wet windshield (steak burrito please with pinto beans, mild salsa and a tiny bit of hot too, just a tiny little cheese and NO sour cream). I was just fooling around, but I like the colors and would like to do more stuff with lights at night sometime. Plus, I messed up most of the shots I took of Ella cheer leading that day.

#8 January 27

It was an epic Michael Phelps-esque finish at the Pinewood derby Wednesday night, with Luke L. edging out Jacob S. for the championship.

#9 January 28

Timeless

My friend Christa stepped right out of the pages of 'Styles of the 70's' for this pic at our annual January birthday girls lunch out, 'cause she's a timeless groovy beauty like that. Or... it could just be that she's 35-40 years behind the times... or, it actually could be that she's both. Personally though, I think it's the timeless beauty thing.

People of Wal-Mart

#4 January 23

People of Walmart

#5 January 24

Did I Mention This Project Might Get Boring?

Yes, I think I did. I just thought it would take a little longer to reach that point. I wasn't very inspired on Sunday... photographically speaking that is. I sure do love me some CBR though!!! She has a new album coming out today which will be in my hands and in my player ASAP!

#6 January 25

"We're So Grateful for the Moisture We've Received"

One of the sister missionaries serving in our ward is from Florida, and she told me last week she thought is was about the funniest thing ever the first time she heard somebody say they were grateful 'for the moisture we've received' in a prayer. They've never had to be grateful for moisture there in Florida. But it is kind of funny when you think about it, because sometimes we say things in such a Mormon way hahaha, but it's oh so true. Most of the time we're all dried up and shriveled like these old berries, trying to hold on to every last bit of moisture we can eek out of this desert. As I write this, I'm listening to rain on the window... and I'm 'grateful for this moisture'.

This is an alternate version.

365 - The Project

This is the beginning of a year long photo project I've seen people do on flickr, but I want to do it here on my blog instead. It's a picture a day for an entire year. A picture taken each day that is, nothing from the files. I have no idea how it will turn out... if I will finish even. Will I grow tired of it? Will it be boring? Will it turn out to be lots of grocery shopping and running errands photos? Will I try too hard? Will I over think everything? Will it make me stalk horses even more than I do now? Will it make me lose sleep? Will it be self-indulgent? YES... YES... YES... YES... and YES!!! It promises to be all those things and MORE!

Okay, so I actually started my pics on Wednesday, but since I don't want to post everyday, and because I kept procrastinating this post, here are my first three of 365 pics. Oh, and I might have to slip in a few non 365 day project pics if it behoveth me... which it most definitely will.

So here goes...

#1 January 20

Sophie tickling Eva with a pretzel stick. I think it's a good way to begin.

#2 January 21

I was waiting on the porch with my camera for a bunch of birds to come back and attack our tree. It was snowing and I think they couldn't find anything to eat. Ella saw them suddenly fly in and then frantically peck the withered berries that were still hanging (you know those ugly orange ones?), but then they were gone by the time I got to the window. The berry things were still bouncing though. I scared them away the first time they came back when I opened the front door and it squeaked, so then I waited out on the porch for about ten minutes, but they never returned. Why am I telling you all this? Anywho, I was still waiting when the bus pulled up with Sophie and Eva, so I got this shot of Sophie coming across the street. I really like this 'creatively aged' look. Matt doesn't however, and Sophie said she looks invisible. But dang it, this is my blog and I'll do I what I want with my photos :D

But here's the regular version for the faux antiqued faint of heart.

#3 January 22

It was a lucky thing this morning that I remembered I didn't have my camera in the car with me when I took Ella to school. We were halfway out of the garage when I realized it and I stopped the car and ran into the house to get it. I've regretted it many many times when I've made a seemingly quick mundane trip without it. This group of horses was headed back to the hills after being at the park over night. I was surprised to see them on my way home because they weren't there only a few minutes earlier when we drove past the same spot. I pulled over really quick and snapped this from the side of the road.

p.s. for any of you who don't live nearby or see me regularly... I did not assume the Amy Whinehouse look! Sealing the root canal was a success :)

Whino

What a horribly whiny post I wrote about maybe loosing my tooth... I apologize :D Although, I stand by my gratitude in retrospect remarks! I believe in that kind of gratitude, since I'm not always grateful in the moment, or even aware that I should be grateful. Today I am finally having my root canal sealed. It's taken so long because I have some kind of strange aversion to picking up the phone and making appointments... it was nothing to do with my dentist. So... if it doesn't work out, and I do indeed assume the Amy Winehouse look, I promise to do so with the utmost grace and dignity. I will not whine about it, and I will be grateful that I will be able to get a falsie at some point. Ciao for now (or maybe another month or two ;-)) and wish me luck.

Happy Birthday Eva

Dear Eva,

It's been almost two months since I last blogged, back when I thought I might loose that one tooth and look like Amy Winehouse. Seeing that post reminded me of when I was all looped out on painkillers one Sunday - I was going to say Sunday morning, but really it was the entire day, and you kept coming into my room to check on me. You were so sweet and genuinely concerned as you stroked my hair, looked at me sadly and said you wished I wasn't sick and hoped I would feel better soon. A bad toothache is one of the worst things EVER, but you make me feel better. And that's what you always do... make me feel better with a hug if I'm sad about something, or if someone else is sick or sad, you always have a hug and an 'I love you' ready to give.

We never have to ask you to do your homework. You're so good at getting it done and bringing your binder for us to sign. You were pretty upset a couple weeks ago when you had to have me sign your behavior chart because you had been talking in class when you weren't supposed to. I had to act kind of serious because I'm your mother and you had just brought me something required by your teacher for me to sign because you had misbehaved, but really I sympathized with you. I know from experience that it's hard sometimes not to talk when your not supposed to. But I'm so proud that you haven't had your chart marked again! It's because you really want to be good, and you always try hard to do what's right.

Sometimes when I look at you, I can't help but be jealous. You're just so dang cute and you can practically do the splits and you never even practice them. You can do most anything you try - like climbing mountians, or like snowboarding last year. Neither Dad nor Ella learned how to do a 360 like you did. You're good and loyal friend, and a great sister too. I always know you're watching out for Sophie at school, and she knows she can depend on you. Oh, and of course, you always know where you're going :)

Thanks for being you, because you're the best and we love you!!! Happy birthday :)

p.s. I even think you look cute in skinny pants!

I'm so happy we share brown eyes...

... but I do wish I had your lovely skin :)

...and now I just have to get her to start reading my blog

Gratitude in Retrospect

Over the last few days, I've been mentally and emotionally preparing for the possibility that I might look like Amy Winehouse soon.

I've been very slow to respond to the topical treatments and the antibiotics I've been taking for a tooth infection... I could eventually lose the tooth if nothing starts working for me. It happens to be the same tooth Amy is missing. It will really really really really really really really really suck to look like her of course, but what will make it even worse, is that I'll be stone cold sober while doing so - I won't have a crack pipe and millions of dollars in the bank to comfort me. Does it make me a bad person to consider taking up a crack habit if I lose the tooth... just temporarily, until I can get an implant?

Gratitude in retrospect ('retro' is so in these days) is something I've been pondering as of late. It's a concept and practice I believe in as a means of not descending into useless thoughts of self-pity when unexpected hardships or physical pain arise. And nothing brings on the retrospective gratitude in me like a bad a** tooth ache!

Retrospective gratitude is not filled with the guilt and regret you feel when you realize you've taken someone or something for granted, and then your gratitude is too little too late. No, it's simply looking back fondly and with genuine gratitude on times that were better, times that were blessed, and without asking for anything in return. For instance, if I'm sad, if I feel like there's a hole in my heart that won't ever heal, I might say a prayer like, "Heavenly Father, I'm so thankful for all the moments in my life that I felt happy and care free. I'm grateful for all the times I smiled and laughed freely without sadness waiting to occupy my next thought". Or, if I have a toothache, I might say a little prayer in my mind like, "Heavenly Father, I'm so grateful for all the moments my tooth didn't hurt. For all the times I was completely unaware that I even had any teeth at all, for all the times I could carry on a conversation without being present yet absent - only thinking about the pain and not caring what I'm talking about," etc., etc..

Those are the kinds of things I think about, pray about, when I'm engaging in retrospective gratitude. And so I'm applying this method of being grateful, in advance even, to my Amy Winehouse situation. I say (to myself) and pray things like, "Heavenly Father, I'm so very very grateful for all the moments of my life when I didn't look like Amy Winehouse. I'm so grateful for all the times I smiled without wanting to be stoned out of my mind, or for wanting everyone seeing me smile to be stoned out of their minds too so they won't notice my missing tooth. I'm so grateful for all the times I smiled without having to concentrate on keeping my lips sealed, and for not even being conscious of having teeth, the way I don't notice I'm breathing."

I think these thoughts and prayers will help since I won't be stoned during the experience, if and when it happens. And it's not to say that it definitely will. I'm an optimistic realist after all. I'm optimistic that my tooth will win the war even though it's lost a few battles - but I also realize that it might not - so I'm trying to be prepared...

Owning the Mt. Rose Summit and Sophie mourns MJ

Matt and Marv (Matt's dad) took Eva and her friend Sadie to hike the Mt. Rose Summit (10,776 ft) on Saturday - and they OWNED IT!!! Woo hoo :)

Sadie and Eva on the summit overlooking Reno - they ROCKED!

Grandpa Marv has still got it goin' ON! Don't ever let him trick you into taking a 'little walk' - he'll school ya!

Thank you Flickr person for this pic

Mt. Rose is in the upper right corner

Thank you Flickr person for this pic

The trail is over ten miles round trip (this is the back side - from Reno). It took them 3 1/2 hours to make it to the top, and 3 hours back down. I really really really wanted to go, but someone needed to be home with Sophie, who isn't quite ready for that kind of hike yet. Those are the kind of sacrifices mother's have to make ;-)

This is the view from south east Reno - Mt. Rose being the highest point

Unfortunately, we only have pictures from Matt's camera phone because my camera wouldn't turn on. And unfortunately too, when I switched out the brand new batteries I had put in the camera for their hike the night before, with yet another set of brand new batteries - it turned on, which meant that not only did we only get low quality camera phone pics, but my hoped for upgrade upon hearing the camera wasn't working, was not to be :(

But thank goodness for lousy phone cameras, nonetheless.

Good job everybody!

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Sophie's devastation over the disappearance of the storm drain frog (see previous post) was nothing compared to her devastation upon hearing that Michael Jackson had died. One episode of Spongebob was about all it took to get over the frog - MJ's death was an entirely different story however.

On our way home from Idaho, and as we were pulling out the a Sonic in Twin Falls, my cell phone rang. It was Matt. He spoke in a 'you're not going to believe this' voice, and told me it had just been reported that Michael Jackson was dead. I replied with a 'you're right, I can't believe it' voice, and so of course the kids were dying to know what we were talking about. After I was off the phone and while I was unwrapping my hamburger and getting my french fires out and sipping my Diet Coke, I told them what I was so astonished about. Ella and Eva were surprised too. We were all talking about how weird it was and wondering what all went on etc., when suddenly, I heard someone sobbing in the back seat. I looked over my shoulder, and there was Sophie, with her mouth gaping open, trying to breathe, and with tears beginning to pour down her cheeks.

Then the scene unfolded something like this...

Sophie: *sob sob sob* "But I loved Michael Jackson." *sob sob sob* "I loved him." *sob sob sob*

Me: "Oh honey, I know you did... it's okay honey. We can still listen to his music."

Sophie: *sob sob sob* "Ooooh, why did he have to die?" *sob sob sob* "Oooooh nooo... he was my favorite singer" *sob sob sob*

Me: "I know honey, I'm so sorry. I know you loved him so much. It's okay honey, we still have his music."

Sophie: *sob sob sob* "What did he die of?"

Me: "He had a heart attack."

Sophie: *sob* "What's a heart attack?"

Me: "It's when your heart is sick and it stops beating."

Sophie: "Ooooh......." *sob sob sob sob sob* "Why we all have to die????" *sob sob sob*

Ella and Eva comforting her: "It's okay Sophie, we can still listen to him... everyone has to die... he's in heaven now... even Mom's going to die someday... oh, wait... I mean... we're all going to die someday... then we'll all be in heaven together... don't cry Sophie... it'll be okay..."

Sophie: *sob sob sob sob sob sob*

Me: "Let's turn on some Michael Jackson right now and we'll celebrate his great music."

Sophie: "Can we listen to 'Thriller'?"

Me: "Yes, we will listen to "Thriller'!"

Then she commenced to quietly weep while she ate her lunch.

A little bit later while listing to MJ, I hear sobbing again.

Sophie: *sob sob sob* "I want Michael Jackson alive... I want him alive again..." *sob sob sob sob sob sob sob sob* "I wanted to see him in concert! *sob sob sob* (that was news to me)

Me: "That would have been so fun, I'm sorry honey."

Sophie continues to sob.

Sophie: Suddenly alarmed, "he won't be on youtube anymore!. 'Thriller' won't be on the computer!!!" *sob sob sob sob sob sob*

Ella and Eva: "Oh Sophie, 'Thriller' and 'Beat It' will always be on youtube, forever! We'll watch them when we get home... it's okay Sophie, we'll always have his music and videos."

Sophie: "Okay." quietly weeps.

Me: "When we get home, I'll play a song called 'Ben' he sang when he was really young that is about a rat - it's so sweet (:D)."

Sophie: *sniff sniff* "Okay."

She recovered her composure for most of the ride home, but the sobbing and wishes for Michael Jackson to be alive again were repeated several times throughout the day...

It all made me kind of forget what a freakazoid he had become - for a few hours at least! She's a keeper.

I Feel Like Blogging Tonight

I haven't felt this way in a long time......... which is to say, I feel like blogging. It's been a month since I came home from Idaho to a beautifully deep cleaned house. I've been doing a pretty good job most of the time keeping up on things and not falling too far behind with my domestic duties. But as I was cleaning up tonight, and turned around to see more messes and piles of laundry to be folded, and knowing there were messes upstairs as well, I suddenly had an overwhelming desire to blog - go figure. And dammit, I'm not leaving this computer or doing anything productive until I finish this post!!! Apparently, and unfortunately too, the frequency of my blog posting is directly proportionate to the number of messes in my house......... I bet somebody could do some scientific research about that. And I bet there's at least one scientist who would say that blogging decreases cholesterol and or blood pressure. Probably a scientific findings like that would be picked up for the evening news cycle :D

And now I will try actually blog about something, as opposed to droning on and on about nothing, whilst lowering my cholesterol and or blood pressure :)

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It rained this afternoon, which is always wonderful. Eva and Sophie went out to play with the neighbors after everything had been soaked, and they found a frog sitting in the gutter. It escaped capture by jumping into a storm drain however (thankfully). But the kids decided to rescue it, which is simply just another way of saying they tried to score a new pet.

Sophie turned the kitchen upside down trying to find just the right container for her new frog

Here she is lowering the frog a life line - the water level was about 30 inches below the grate

Eva and company had long since given up their rescue efforts by the time I came out to see what was happening to my kitchen stuff

Sophie, looking strangely frog-like here - she didn't get it from me!

Desperation set in as she realized the frog was gone and she probably wouldn't be getting new pet. She wouldn't have gotten a new pet though, even if she had captured it, but that's beside the point

And finally, DESPAIR, bless her little heart. It's much better though that the frog broke her heart and not me...

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Speaking of rain, it made for some actual greenery here in Reno during the month of June, which made for some beautiful backdrops against which to shoot wild horses.

It made for lots of water too

Rain rain, please don't go away