Wanted: Swine Flu Germs

At this point, I really really really want to be exposed to the Swine Flu in order to build some resistance against any future H1N1 mutations. I don't have a medical degree, or any kind of degree for that matter, but who really needs one these days when one has teh internets at ones finger tips, right? ;-)

For the last week, since it became apparent that Swine Flu is mild and wasn't actually killing all the people the media had first sensationally reported, I've been thinking about the benefits of exposure to H1N1 as an immunity builder. So this morning, I did a simple google search, 'H1N1 immunity', and found this in the second article that popped up:

"The global outbreak of H1N1 flu hovering just below the pandemic threshold could provide immunity for those already infected if the virus mutates into a more deadly form, scientists have told AFP.

That is what happened in 1918, when most people who fell ill with a mild Spring flu were effectively inoculated from the far more lethal strains that roared back a few months later and killed at least 40 million worldwide, according to recent and upcoming studies.

The findings suggest that going all-out to prevent exposure to the kind of non-seasonal flu sweeping across the world today may turn out to be counter-productive in the fight to reduce mortality."

So I say, bring it ON!!!!! I want the Swine Flu and I want it NOW!!! I invite any and all who are ill with this flu to touch every doorknob in my house. I want to shake your hand, give you a hug and share a soda with you (just not when I'm looking though, cuz that's gross - but what I don't know won't hurt me).

This just seems like common sense to me, and waaaaaaaaaay cheaper than whatever any government or 'world organization' would do to mess things up...

Read the entire article here

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The Gap

It's already closing

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*sniff sniff*

I'm so sad Allison got the boot last night! I really loved her.

I'm not an Adam fan, but I think he could definitely revive the rock opera genre.

Extreme Makeover: Brain Edition

I've come up with a new concept for self-improvement - a brain makeover. I need one real bad! Operation Suck Less at Life was successful for about two days. All the days after that weren't much to write home about. You were all so nice though to say you love me just the way I am and that I don't suck at life, etc., but the fact is, is that none of you must live with the debris I leave in my fun wake - the unfolded laundry, the clutter on the kitchen counter waiting to be put away, the forgotten appointments, or only remembered at the last minute appointments, the oh yeah I'm supposed to cook dinner for my family moments, the garage, and the list goes on and on.

So, I'm going to do a brain makeover.

My brain is a horrible liar - or should I say instead, an excellent liar. It lies to me constantly and with impunity. I let it get away with just about everything. It tells lies as easily as often as it is distracted by bright, shiny and exciting non-productive extracurricular activities. It tells me everyday that if I put something important off to do something less important, that I will actually accomplish the important stuff later, and in a timely manner. It tells me that it's okay to go to Doughboy's Donuts again, because it will really, definitely, for sure be the last time this time. Three weeks after giving up Diet Coke, and after I had declared victory over DC on this blog, my brain told me that I could just have one - one little Diet Coke, and I would be able to stop. My brain tells me every night at bedtime that I should stay up late again after everyone's gone to bed - that I won't be tired in the morning, and every night I believe it. So, do you see now what a liar my brain is? I won't stand for it any longer!!! My brain needs an extreme makeover so my mind can be at ease.

Remember this old anti-drug public service announcement:

Well that is my brain when my mind tries to not let my brain be itself. This is going to be hard people... it's gonna really hurt my brain to do this. But as I was pondering the possibilities a few nights ago, what I'm capable of, my potential, something from and old ABC After School Special popped into my mind, which was, "you can do it Duffy Moon, you can do it".

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On a different note, I have some extraordinary news about the little wild pony Kailee, whose drama I wrote about a few weeks ago here. Last week I took a drive back where the horses hang out to look at the new ones - there are quite a few that are VERY new :) While I was out there, I spotted the two ladies seen in my pictures, whose names are Debbie and Mona. They informed me that Debbie (with the darker hair in my pics) had since adopted Kailee through the wild horse adoption program, and that Kailee is now being boarded over near Windy Hill, and has a new BFF named Smokey. Debbie e-mailed me this pic.

Kailee and Smokey just chillin'

Debbie has invited me to visit Kailee, and I think I will very soon :)

Debbie and Mona also filled me in on some details of the day Kailee was snatched from the jaws of death (remember, I had to leave the scene early on. They were there until 5 pm - I left at about noon). Apparently it wasn't really the government person who saved Kailee like I thought. It was actually Mona's idea to try an enema. They didn't have one handy, so she ran down to Long's Drugs and purchased two. Poor Kailee was so far gone at that point that she didn't even flinch through either - they gave her both. Within a half an hour, she was on her feet again, and shortly after that, she was nursing. Wow! I just love that story!!! I think Mona and Debbie truly are horse whisperers.

Congrats to Debbie on owning her very first horse!

Okay, now that I'm finally done with this post - it always takes me much longer to blog than I think it will (stupid brain), I'm going to start my brain makeover and stop believing my brain's lies starting........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................ now.

Awesome Fireside Idea and Amazing Race Training

This song came on in the car tonight, and it reminded me that Matt thinks it's an awesome idea for Gladys Knight to sing this at a church fireside - I have to agree! I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, and with every fiber of my being, that I would have a totally super spiritual experience if I could be there on the front pew if she ever did.

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Any of you Amazing Race fans who think you're going to beat Ella and me to win the million dollars, check this out! We're already in training. Be ye therefore warned...

Ella on the right

Ella will be doing all the daredevil stuff remember, so I guess it's actually just her in training at the moment (with our neighbor Brittany), but nevertheless - be ye therefore still warned...

From the Ultimate Rush website:

Combine sky diving, bungee jumping and hang-gliding. We hoist you along with one or two of your friends to the top of our 180 foot skycoaster where you pull the ripcord. You will experience a free fall and then fly thru the air at over 65 mph. Nothing you ever do will be more exciting or create a bigger adrenalin rush.

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And thanks to Alyson at New England Living for helping me watermark my horse pics! Thanks :) And you should check out her lovely photos, many of which are of cemeteries. Dang I love a good cemetery :D

Useless Information

I go through musical phases. Lots of them. Some phases last longer and are more intense than others, which is the case right now. I nearly drive my kids to drink with my favorite music, only they're not old enough, and they'd be in huge trouble. This latest phase has been all about Stevie Wonder. I've known his music since childhood, and have several of his albums, but recently I've been delving deeper. I've always thought it was weird that on 'You Are The Sunshine Of My Life', the female singer only sings two lines at the beginning, and that's it. Does that even qualify as a duet? She sings her two lines right after Stevie opens the song with

You are the sunshine of my life

That's why I'll always be around

and then she sings

You are the apple of my eye,

Forever you'll stay in my heart

And then Stevie sings the rest of the song.

Only, it occurred to me recently that the very first two lines don't actually sound like Stevie Wonder. I mean, it does sound like him, but something about the first part was just weird to me, so I decided to investigate. When I investigate something as important as who is singing the first two lines of 'You Are The Sunshine Of My Life', I go to Wikipedia first, as I always do when I want the most accurate and reliable information ;-)

Tangent alert

You know, I just can't get enough of Wikipedia. I love it all - the good info, the bad info, the vandalism, and all the surprising random tidbits I never expect to stumble upon. One of the most fun things I've ever seen happen on Wikipedia was when Ella looked up Michael Phelps during the Olympics, and his profile had been vandalized. It had been taken over by the 'Zodiac Killer', with a menacing message to the world, complete with the Zodiac Killer's symbol. Michael Phelps' profile was frozen and none of the links worked. The Zodiac's message was somehow placed over the page, but you could still see some of the Wikipedia content in the background. Then, when we refreshed the page, wah lah - just like magic, it had been fixed. I also like finding info I know to be wrong, because it makes me feel super smart. I also like to see how many clicks it will take me to get from one subject to another completely unrelated subject, and I try to do it in the fewest clicks possible. For instance, on their homepage, they have a randomly chosen featured article everyday. I choose any subject in the world that pops into my head, like 'You Are The Sunshine Of My Life', and I see how many clicks it will take me to get from the randomly chosen feature article, to my subject of choice. You have to choose your links wisely to be successful.

I just made it from Anekantavada to You Are The Sunshine Of My Life in ten clicks. I think I could have done it better, but I thought for sure the Jehovah's Witness page would have a list of famous members that would include Michael Jackson, but it didn't. Getting to Stevie Wonder would have been easy that way. Oh dear, I'm really living up to my profile description, ain't I?

But back to the matter at hand, which you may or may not remember at this point, is who sang the first two lines of YATSOML. Wikipedia reveals, that indeed, Stevie Wonder did not sing these lines. It was his back up singer, James Gilstrap. Do you have any idea what a genius I feel like? It doesn't take much, I know. This is exactly the kind of useless information I love knowing. Now I'll be waiting the rest of my life for this to be a trivia question. It can't be when I'm alone watching Jeopardy though. It has to be when other people are around, maybe with some friends playing games. I need witnesses when the question "who sang the opening lyric on the classic Stevie Wonder cut 'You Are The Sunshine Of My Life'?" is read aloud, and I answer, without hesitating, "James Gilstrap of course. I can't believe no one here knows that." Aaaah, the glory that will be mine! I can taste it already!!!

There are two versions of YATSOML, btw. The singles version for radio play has horns, but the album version doesn't (thank you Wikipedia).

Another reason I'm excited about Sarah Palin

This quote from the Las Vegas Review Journal:

"And Palin passed one test that many out-of-state politicians have failed: correctly pronouncing Nevada."

Hear the correct pronunciation here, and don't let me ever hear you (to whom it may concern) say it the wrong way again!!!

And check out the Elsmore's blog here for an incredible photo!

Part 3 of The End of an Era coming soon...

Dear Sarah Palin,

Please never go on Oprah's show (click here to see why). I will vow eternal devotion to you if you never give her royal O'ness the satisfaction. Don't do it when the backlash sets in, and she regrets her blatant royal snub. Don't do it after you've won the election and become the first female VP in history, and she keeps calling and texting you day after day. Don't do it if you ever become the first female president. And definitely, never get caught with an 'O' on your copy of Anna Karenina or East Of Eden. Hopefully, you read them before her O'ness chose them as her book group selection, so people won't think you're reading them because Oprah said you should.

Thanks, Rachel

Mission Accomplished

My mission to return hot merchandise using option two was easily and expertly executed! Either I'm really good, or Petco gives a lot of five finger discounts. But I think the latter is the case, so head on down there if you've been low on funds and need some pet supplies, or even a pet. You could probably grab a leash on aisle 3, meander your way over to the puppies, hook up your puppy of choice to your new leash, and walk right out. I can't imagine anyone would stop you. If your dog starts making yellow spots all over your lawn though, I don't think we can help out too much. There's really not much you can do about that problem. But I did see some crazy lady's post about her solution to the dead spots on her lawn here.

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Palin for Prez

Gloria Steinem wrote today that "Palin shares nothing but a chromosome with Clinton". YAY, that's excellent news, and a fantastically wonderful unintended compliment Gloria!!!! I'm not a John McCain fan, and I initially had a negative reaction to his VP pick, but have since changed my mind, BIG TIME. Plus, her youngest daughter knows how to get the job done too.

Shoplifting 101 - A Lesson For The Distracted Person

Because I am constantly in deep thought, coming up with solutions to today's most perplexing problems, like how to achieve world peace and economic security in this century's global economy, or pondering important issues like Star Magazine's 46 Best & Worst Beach Bodies issue (on news stands now), I sometimes get distracted from the task at hand. Today for instance, I was thinking deeply about whether or not I should go to trouble of fixing up a saltwater fish tank that isn't that old, but is a real pain in the butt, or just getting a new smaller one that would be easier to maintain. This deep thinking caused me to actually shoplift a package of fish aquarium water filters from the Petco on South Virginia, next to Best Buy.

Stolen Item

It didn't occur to me that I had hot filters in my possession until after I was at home, had dismantled the top of the aquarium that I was thinking of replacing and that was intended to receive the new filters, been distracted by seeing the Bio-Wheel that also needed replacing and shopped for one online, discovered the aquarium light had burned out, melting its plastic protective shield, and then talked to Matt about maybe getting a smaller, freshwater aquarium that wasn't so much work. It was at this point that I held up said hot filters, and realized I had no memory of buying them. I didn't bring them into the house in a bag, and I didn't have a receipt. At Petco, I had spoken for about 10 minutes to a salesperson after picking them up, and left immediately after our conversion, in which she informed me that I needed to order a new Bio-Wheel online. Apparently I was thinking deeply about the Bio-Wheel, and forgot to pay! Surely this is a good reason for shoplifting!

Keeping a package of fish aquarium filters that I'm not even gonna use (I did indeed decide to go with something smaller and easier) isn't at all tempting though. So my dilemma now is how to return them. I'm torn between two options. One, risking embarrassment by just handing it over to an employee and telling him/her of my lameness, or two, sneaking it out of my purse and back onto the shelf, risking possibly being mistaken as a shoplifter. I'll probably go with the second option to keep myself from looking like a dork, so if you see my name and perp photo in the paper Thursday, please refer the authorities to this post. But if you don't see me in the paper, I may be feeling a little giddy about my new found skillz, so give me a call if you need anything lifted - we can negotiate my cut.

Thoughts On J-Lo's Junk

One of the greatest joys in life is getting to stand in a long line at the grocery store. I know most people wouldn't agree that a long line at the store is a joy, but the reason it is for me is because I get to look at all the trashy celebrity gossip for free. Actually, it usually costs me the price of a People Magazine, but I'm too good and righteous to buy the others like Star and The Enquirer ;-) I do look forward to their issues that feature plastic surgery disasters and cellulite of the stars though. Those issues, which are always very dog eared by the way, never fail to put a smile on my face and give me a little self-esteem boost. So of course I was thrilled to see the cover of Star tonight (pictured above) with the headline, 46 Best & Worst Beach Bodies!, especially since we're going to the beach tomorrow.

Boy was I disappointed! First were the best, which I quickly thumbed through trying to get to the worst, because frankly, I don't care about the best. Finally, I found them, but I didn't realize it at first, because they didn't actually look all that bad. Just normal really - the women anyway. Geez! J-Lo's junk in the trunk after twins, which is pretty good looking if you ask me, is all they could come up with? And Katie Holmes (I think it was her), in a totally relaxed slouched over position with a little kangaroo-ish mama pouch? Puuulease!!!! I didn't feel smug and satisfied in the least when I put that magazine down. Oh that the junk in my trunk looked half as bad as J-Lo's!

Note: The J-Lo mentioned above, of Puff Daddy, Ben Affleck, Marc Anthony and The Block fame, is of course not to be confused with the lovely J-Lo, of the Louisianan to Standard American English Translation Dictionary fame, who sometimes posts comments here.

Gravity Lessons, Wile E. Coyote Style

Well the Chi-coms couldn't quite control the weather and smog as planned (yes, the Chinese actually hoped to control the weather during the Olympics). They forgot that cameras would take shots of vast amounts of empty seats (not sold, as to avoid the gathering of too many of the wrong kind of people in one place). They didn't realize people in Beijing watching the brilliant fire works display on their televisions of the opening ceremonies could look outside and see that half of it wasn't actually happening because it was computerized. They also forgot to actually find real ethnic children to dress up in their respective ethnic clothing to hand the Chinese flag to their goose stepping soldiers, and to silence the unattractive little girl with the beautiful voice who was supposed to sing in the opening ceremonies, but had to lipsync for a better looking girl with nice teeth who couldn't sing, whom she was pushed aside for, and who received all the accolades and admiration of her countrymen. And now, they can't control the free western press from discovering the ages of their underaged gymnasts. That's because they also forgot that the internet has no restrictions in the free western world. The Chi-coms remind me of one of my grandfather's favorite cartoon characters

Weather control article:

http://www.usatoday.com/weather/research/2008-02-29-china-weather_N.htm

The Agony Of Defeat

Her classy, non-whiny, and honest interview after the race made me feel even worse for Lolo Jones.

I don't remember ever seeing someone in the lead run out of gas faster than Sanya Richrds did in the 200 meter last night. It was as if someone had attached weights to her rear end after the turn.

I love Nastia Luikin in action! She's like an elegant ballerina doing flips and dangerous tricks, but between the action, she needs to work on those snobby facial expressions. I know it's concentration, but I can't stand looking at her anymore when she's not performing or on the winners stand. But now I won't have to because the gymnastics are FINALLY over!!! Is it just me, or did NBC really milk it for all it's worth? And now that it's over, I won't have to hear from John Tesh again about how Shawn Johnson's coach grew up in Beijing, moved to Texas, opened a gymnastics business, and just two months later, little six year old Shawn Johnson showed up at his gym. That was only ten years ago ya know, and now it's all come full circle, and here he is back in Beijing with his Olympic athlete, and now gold medal winner. I won't have to hear that story again, thank goodness.

But yay for Shawn Johnson

I thought Jonathan Horton's high bar routine was much more thrilling to watch than the gold medalist's, but I didn't like his attitude again when he spoke to the camera afterwards, so I don't mind that he got silver.

Last night they said Michael Johnson said that he doesn't think Usain will break his record, which is 19.32. He thinks he'll run it around 19.50. Why do people say things like that? Didn't he learn anything from the Michael Phelps nay sayers?

Outrage

I seem to have gotten over my early onset Olympic withdrawal easily enough, but now I'm ticked off!!! Can you believe that you can land out of bounds on both vaults, even once with both feet, and still win the gold over someone whose vaults were nearly perfect? I am outraged!!! Outraged I tell you, as I sit here eating bonbons. Now this is worth whining about!!!!! And it was the 33 year old who was robbed, no less. I am livid!!!

And then, to make matters worse, Alicia Sacramone, who fell off the balance beam in the team competition, also did two beautiful vaults, but lost out on the bronze to a Chinese girl who landed on her knees! I don't care about what the start value is, if you land out of bounds or on your freakin' knees, then you should have gone with a lower start value! And by the way, can they PUUULEASE do away with this newer scoring system, and bring back the perfect 10?!

*scream*

But, on a happier note, the old ladies are gettin' it DONE! First, the 38 year old Romanian marathon runner. Not only is she the oldest ever women's Olympic marathon winner, she blew the competition away, and then proceeded to do about 100 victory laps. Then, Dara Torres, 41, in the pool losing the gold by only .o1 seconds, and 30 minutes later anchoring the the women's relay team to another silver medal. And tonight, 33 year old Oksana Chusovitina winning the silver medal (should have been gold) on the vault. WOW!!! I don't even care that she looked like she had just stepped off the Starship Enterprise in that horrid leotard she had on - she can rock whatever leotard she wants doing Olympic gymnastics at 33, and being a mother too!!!!!

Rest Of Olympics Ruined For Me

Michael Phelps may have ruined the rest of the Olympics for me. I'm feeling early onset Olympic withdrawal symptoms tonight. I'm so sad the Michael Phelps swimming EPIC is over!!!!! What a privilege it was to witness! You can't even write stuff like what happened this last week. No one would believe it - by less than a fingertip, a fingernail really! I will press forward however, continuing to ignore the laundry, the kids, watching others burn unfathomable amounts of calories while eating bonbons, staying up way past my already way too late bedtime, and try to enjoy the rest of the games as best I can ;-)

Well okay, that's not actually much different than what usually goes on here, but still...

This Is How Lame Golfers Are

So I am in awe of how gymnasts can block out their surroundings while literally risking their lives for their sport. Especially the ladies, who sometimes have music going in the background for someone else's floor exercise, and lots of other distracting stuff too. This video is a good example of the mayhem that goes on in the arena while the ladies are on the balance beam. The balance beam is so scary to watch, imo. It's all scary, but the balance beam routines actually make me hold my breath.

Then there's this from the world of golf:

Woods: Shutter snap at No. 9 halted momentum ESPN.com news services

Updated: March 27, 2008, 3:45 PM ET

Tiger Woods Explains His Actions at DoralTiger Woods is growing more frustrated with photographers snapping pictures of him during his swing.

In an interview on "ESPN First Take" on Wednesday, Woods addressed an incident at last week's WGC-CA Championship at Doral, Fla., when he reacted to the click of a camera in his backswing with an obscenity-laced threat.

Woods' intense competitive streak is well-known, and he's also been known to curse when his results don't meet his high expectations. But on Sunday, in a threat punctuated with profanity, he threatened bodily harm to the next photographer who snaps during his swing.

"It's been frustrating because that's what been happening lately," Woods told "ESPN First Take." "It's one of the things that comes with playing in the last group, one of the distractions we have to deal with."

What's more, Woods said, the distractions have affected his play. "Each time it's happened, well three out of four times, I made bogey," Woods said. "At the time I needed to make birdie, I flinched on it. [The photographer] got me in transition on my downswing.

"You have no idea what's been said on the golf course all the time, in any sport really," Woods added. "It was the heat of the moment. That one shot took the momentum that I had built on No. 8."

Um, hello Tiger Woods. Check these out.

In fact, I'm going to bring some of these for the Hamrick guys if I ever go golfing again (haven't been in a while). They have the same problem Tiger does. Golfers need to take a lesson from lady gymnasts! They do block out crying babies in the middle of the night really well though ;-)

Lamenting Fastskin Swimwear

When you start thinking swimmers are lame for not breaking the world record, it's an indication that something strange has happened. Fastskin seems to be the culprit (or the Chi-coms have rigged the pool, which I haven't ruled out - I'm in touch with my inner conspiracy theorist). As wonderful as technology is, I feel that some of the specialness and excitement has been taken out of Olympic swimming this year by these new super high tech swimsuits. Breaking a world record is so common place and routine in these games, and sometimes by such a huge margin as shown by the green line, that I no longer feel that lump in my throat Olympic thrill for the athletes breaking them. I have teared up many at time at the breaking of a world record, but last night it was just like watching any ol' ordinary race. I don't feel like it's the swimmers who are breaking the records, so much as the great designers at Speedo. On Speedo's Fastskin website it says:

Designed to help swimmers blow the competition out of the water! FASTSKIN FSII ® increases speed by reducing passive drag by up to 4%.

Well if every swimmer is wearing one, what's the point? I'd like them to get rid of them and make record breaking uncommon and special again.

So, the new fab swimwear has ruined the world record aspect of Olympic swimming this year for me, but it does nothing to diminish Michael Phelps' dominance in my eyes! He is a swimming god. The placing would be the same without the Fastskins, just a little slower all around.

Hmmmm, the gymnastics for both the men and women have been a little weird for me this year. The women's team competition two nights ago was excruciating to watch from the moment that one chick fell off the balance beam. I don't feel like looking up her name, you know who I'm talking about. Shawn Johnson followed her with a great beam routine, but that was about it for our women. They were all falling all over the place on their floor exercises. That was painful, but then they whined the next day about this and that, making excuses when they had clearly been beaten by the Chinese. I hope they can redeem themselves tonight, and at least not whine if they do poorly again. Yes, I know they got the silver, but they ended on a very bad note.

So although my Olympic fever is slightly down at the moment, I feel it will come back pretty strong in about 3 hours :)

Oh, and I'm pulling for the 33 year old gymnast on the German women's team. Hope she wins a medal! But she could seriously use a bow in her hair, or something.

Team Jacob

Every one's Twilight blog countdowns have expired - which means the new Twilight book is in bookstores now! I know exactly what most of the ladies in my ward, and in all of Mormondom for that matter, are doing at this moment. They are finally finding out what Bella's power is, and if she makes the transformation to vegan vampire in order to spend eternity with Edward. Well, she wouldn't really be a vegan, as she would suck the blood of animals, but a vampire who abstains from human blood is akin to being a vegan in my book. Wait, I guess she would have to transform before having her new power, so I got that backwards.

But, on this day of Twilight madness, I just want to say "Go Team Jacob". I think I was the founder (and only member) of Team Victoria while reading book three. Yes, I wanted Bella to be put out of her misery. But unfortunately, it was Victoria who bit the dust. So now I'm left with Jacob. I really do actually love Jacob, and anyone who says he's just using Bella is a liar and a fool ;-) Edward is nauseating. There, I said it (I've actually said it before, but now I'm saying it on my blog :) This may possibly make me friendless at church tomorrow, but so be it... people at church will have to be nice to me, per the commandments. So, I'm saying my peace about the Twilight series, which I dislike. But keep an eye out for my book review, because of course I'm going to read it :)

Santa Cruz Pt. 3 tomorrow - I think. We're going to Josie's summer blow out pool party at my sister's today. Yay for pool parties! P.S. Welcome home from girl's camp Ella, ILY! Hope you had fun!!!

Leading the charge against crack!

Okay! That's it!!! The women's 'plumber crack' epidemic has reached code red status. Today while out running errands, I saw a woman doing crack, and I mean not just a little bit either, who was standing bolt upright. I keep seeing this. She wasn't even bending over to pick up a child, leaning into her car, changing a daiper on the floorr, or otherwise bent in any way. She was showing crack while simply standing up! And a lot! I can't take it anymore!!!!!!! This kind of sight used to only be reserved for old pot bellied men, babies with sagging diapers, and of course plumbers.

But in the last few years, with the popularity low-rise jeans becoming lower and lower, and being the only thing available for women under 50 and teenagers anymore, it is to be seen daily, and without any special effort.

It's a challenge taking Ella shopping these days. Besides the fact that she's a teenager, and automatically dislikes anything she thinks I like, it's difficult to find pants, shorts or capris that aren't made too low. I even have a problem sometimes shopping for Eva and Sophie. Can't clothing makers just give us an inch? That's all it would usually take. Just enough to do ordinary everyday things without worrying about showing crack.

This is what I believe has led to the 'extra long T' craze. Everyone is layering with a cami or tank (underneath an already extra long T-shirt), that is long enough to be tugged and pulled over pants that are too low, in an effort to stay covered.

Back in my grandparents day, 'lady plumber crack' wasn't a problem!!! My grandmother wasn't even close to revealing her backside unintentionally in those Katherine Hepburn-ish slacks (and neither was my grandfather for that matter). Not even a tiny bit close!

In the 70's, we had Dittos. They were so 'in'. We all wore them because they were so cool, and we never had to worry that we might be mooning anyone (in lunar terms, I think 'lady plumber crack' would be called, 'waxing crescent mooning'). I think it's time to bring back the Dittos!

But it's impossible to know how long this fashion insanity will last, so in the meantime, I have a solution to the 'lady plumber crack' dilemma. This solution could revolutionize women's pants, the same way the adjustable waist band revolutionized children's clothhes a few years ago (I never EVER buy pants for Eva and Sophie anymore that don't have it). My new invention could be called 'Lady Plumber Crack Crack Guard'. It would simply be an embellishment, like a patch, that extends an inch or two, or three if needed, above the rear center belt loop, effectively covering, or 'guarding' against said 'lady plumber crack'. This embellishment could be of simple geometric design, or something more elegant like a flower, a butterfly, or any other desirable 'tramp stamp' like design. In fact, the 'Lady Plumber Crack Crack Guard' may even eventually be preferred over the now ubiquitous 'tramp stamp'. It would be less expensive, less painful, and would effectively eliminate tattoo regret, all while making it possible for girls and women to do the things we do everyday without showing crack!!!

Cha Ching! Show me the money...

The return of OP

Going to Wal-mart has been nostalgic for me lately. Just across from the produce is the ladies clothing section, which now features the OP brand - Ocean Pacific. It just makes me happy to see it. When I was growing up in southern California, OP was the thing in grade school and junior high!!! OP shorts, Vans and Baja Hoodies.

So I was in Wal-mart a couple weeks ago and saw that they have the cutest OP bags for only $10. That's right, I said $10!!!! And that's a real leather handle too, not vinyl, lol. The one I got has a classic surfer design, and I love it! Reminds me of my childhood.

My sister was here Friday evening, and I had to run to Wal-mart for butterfly band-aids to patch together Julia's forehead (a collision with Sophie and a sidewalk curb), and while I was there, I picked one up for her too. I could tell she was jealous when she saw mine. Well not really, but I wanted to impose my fun on her anyway, and she was so nice to act all excited :)

What I haven't seen at Wal-mart though, are the classic OP shorts for guys. I even went to both the men's and boy's sections looking for them. I guess since the style for guys is to wear their shorts down to the middle of their calves these days (an unforunate trend, especially for basketball players because they usually have really nice legs), the classic OP shorts probably wouldn't sell. And although some things go out of style for a time, and then come back about 25 years later as very cool and hip 'vintage', some things are probably better left untouched.

I'm afraid the return of OP won't be as grand as it could be though, because it's at Wal-mart and not Tartget. We all know that if OP were at Target, the same items would be instantly more cool and desirable ;-)

To blog, or not to blog...

...that is the question.

Obviously, I'm answering that question in the affirmative. But, it may well turn out that I'll give up blogging the way I've given up so many other projects I've gotten excited about :( In that case, I suppose I'll have to reassess that deep question - to blog, or not to blog...

But in the meantime, I'm trying to figure out where to begin. After looking at the blogs of some friends, I'm a little jealous. I'm already suffering blog envy. If only I'd been blogging for the last couple of years, I could have written about so many fun things we've done and made everyone sick with really cute stories and pictures of the girls. I could have been chronicling their amazing talents and brilliant achievements all this time! But if I try to catch up, I know for sure that this new wonderful project will be dropped faster than the diet I start every Monday. So, I guess I'll just start with what's going on now, and not worry about the past. But now I feel like I'm just waiting for something exciting to happen, and that's kind of like waiting for water to boil. I think I'll just start with something simple that happened Tuesday evening...