Leading the charge against crack!

Okay! That's it!!! The women's 'plumber crack' epidemic has reached code red status. Today while out running errands, I saw a woman doing crack, and I mean not just a little bit either, who was standing bolt upright. I keep seeing this. She wasn't even bending over to pick up a child, leaning into her car, changing a daiper on the floorr, or otherwise bent in any way. She was showing crack while simply standing up! And a lot! I can't take it anymore!!!!!!! This kind of sight used to only be reserved for old pot bellied men, babies with sagging diapers, and of course plumbers.

But in the last few years, with the popularity low-rise jeans becoming lower and lower, and being the only thing available for women under 50 and teenagers anymore, it is to be seen daily, and without any special effort.

It's a challenge taking Ella shopping these days. Besides the fact that she's a teenager, and automatically dislikes anything she thinks I like, it's difficult to find pants, shorts or capris that aren't made too low. I even have a problem sometimes shopping for Eva and Sophie. Can't clothing makers just give us an inch? That's all it would usually take. Just enough to do ordinary everyday things without worrying about showing crack.

This is what I believe has led to the 'extra long T' craze. Everyone is layering with a cami or tank (underneath an already extra long T-shirt), that is long enough to be tugged and pulled over pants that are too low, in an effort to stay covered.

Back in my grandparents day, 'lady plumber crack' wasn't a problem!!! My grandmother wasn't even close to revealing her backside unintentionally in those Katherine Hepburn-ish slacks (and neither was my grandfather for that matter). Not even a tiny bit close!

In the 70's, we had Dittos. They were so 'in'. We all wore them because they were so cool, and we never had to worry that we might be mooning anyone (in lunar terms, I think 'lady plumber crack' would be called, 'waxing crescent mooning'). I think it's time to bring back the Dittos!

But it's impossible to know how long this fashion insanity will last, so in the meantime, I have a solution to the 'lady plumber crack' dilemma. This solution could revolutionize women's pants, the same way the adjustable waist band revolutionized children's clothhes a few years ago (I never EVER buy pants for Eva and Sophie anymore that don't have it). My new invention could be called 'Lady Plumber Crack Crack Guard'. It would simply be an embellishment, like a patch, that extends an inch or two, or three if needed, above the rear center belt loop, effectively covering, or 'guarding' against said 'lady plumber crack'. This embellishment could be of simple geometric design, or something more elegant like a flower, a butterfly, or any other desirable 'tramp stamp' like design. In fact, the 'Lady Plumber Crack Crack Guard' may even eventually be preferred over the now ubiquitous 'tramp stamp'. It would be less expensive, less painful, and would effectively eliminate tattoo regret, all while making it possible for girls and women to do the things we do everyday without showing crack!!!

Cha Ching! Show me the money...