Thoughts On J-Lo's Junk

One of the greatest joys in life is getting to stand in a long line at the grocery store. I know most people wouldn't agree that a long line at the store is a joy, but the reason it is for me is because I get to look at all the trashy celebrity gossip for free. Actually, it usually costs me the price of a People Magazine, but I'm too good and righteous to buy the others like Star and The Enquirer ;-) I do look forward to their issues that feature plastic surgery disasters and cellulite of the stars though. Those issues, which are always very dog eared by the way, never fail to put a smile on my face and give me a little self-esteem boost. So of course I was thrilled to see the cover of Star tonight (pictured above) with the headline, 46 Best & Worst Beach Bodies!, especially since we're going to the beach tomorrow.

Boy was I disappointed! First were the best, which I quickly thumbed through trying to get to the worst, because frankly, I don't care about the best. Finally, I found them, but I didn't realize it at first, because they didn't actually look all that bad. Just normal really - the women anyway. Geez! J-Lo's junk in the trunk after twins, which is pretty good looking if you ask me, is all they could come up with? And Katie Holmes (I think it was her), in a totally relaxed slouched over position with a little kangaroo-ish mama pouch? Puuulease!!!! I didn't feel smug and satisfied in the least when I put that magazine down. Oh that the junk in my trunk looked half as bad as J-Lo's!

Note: The J-Lo mentioned above, of Puff Daddy, Ben Affleck, Marc Anthony and The Block fame, is of course not to be confused with the lovely J-Lo, of the Louisianan to Standard American English Translation Dictionary fame, who sometimes posts comments here.